The Architect of Conflict
by kidamaroo
Summary: Four gets mistaken for an architect. Rated T for discussion of suicide.


Four had homework. He had a review sheet he needed to write up for geography and he also had to read a couple of chapters of _A Dog of Flanders_. He was hard at work...playing video games. His homework would not be done anytime soon.

Suddenly, his phone rang. The obnoxious Eminem ringtone broke Four's concentration long enough that his avatar in the game fell off the cliff and "died". This cheesed him off something fierce.

He answered the phone. "Hello," he began, barely masking his disgust. After all, this person interrupted him while playing his video game, causing his a avatar to "die". Under normal circumstances, he would've just let it go in his voicemail. Not this time. He was going to tell them that they interrupted his video game. But before he could do so, the caller spoke first, leaving him unable to get a word in edgewise.

"OK, you don't know me, but my name is Kate Owens." she said. "Are you Andy Kessler?" Four didn't know it at the time, but Kate Owen's husband recently committed suicide by leaping off of a building. Distraught over the loss of her husband, she tried to call the architect of the building to complain that there were no anti jump nets on the building. She had, unfortunately, got the wrong number. Four hastily tried to explain that the woman has the wrong number, but he was interrupted again.

"My husband killed himself last week." Kate barked, "He jumped off a building that you designed. I think you owe me an apology."

If it were any of the other monsters, this situation would have been over almost as quickly as it started. Somebody like One, Two, Six, or Seven would have said "I'm sorry for your loss, ma'am; but you have the wrong number", hang up, and that would be it. Nope. Not with Four. Diplomacy is not his strong suit. "Why?" he replied, "It's not _my_ fault your husband hated his life."

Kate was now beginning to seethe with anger. "It's 100% your fault, you bastard" she practically growled, "What kind of POS architect doesn't put a net on a high rise to stop people from jumping off?! Think about that for a moment!"

"Not me, because -" Four began to retort, but he was interrupted yet again. And this time, Kate was practically frothing at the mouth. "OK listen to me, you asshole. Cut the bullshit. I know _exactly_ what you're trying to do." She bellowed. Four couldn't believe just how _angry_ she was. "You think you're so rich and famous that the needs of other people don't matter to you." she continued to scream, "Guess what?! _They do!_ If you'd just thought about the public for a minute and put safety nets on the building, my husband would still be alive!"

Are you _sure_ that'd be an improvement?" Four replied, "I mean, he'd still be married to you."

Disgusted at his response, Kate angrily hung up. Four went back to his video game, slightly annoyed that he had to start over. Whatever guilt he felt toward what he said to Kate was squashed down by the frustration of having to start all over again in his video game. The things he had said royally pissed her off. Granted, what he said wasn't actually mean, but just callous. All in all, he handled it pretty poorly.

It wasn't like he had gotten away with it. He didn't. Later that evening, after dinner, Mama said something that made him jump. "Fourling!" she said sternly, "needing I am to be having discussion with you."

 _Uh oh_ , thought Four. _This is probably about the homework_. "I did the reading for _A Dog of Flanders_ , I swear!" he said nervously. He didn't want to get in trouble for not doing his homework _again_.

"Homework is not being the issue here, Four" Mama replied. _Whew_ , Four thought, _that's a lot off my mind_. "What is being issued is what you are saying to Kate Owens."

Four gulped. _How did Mom know about Kate Owens?_ he thought, _maybe one of the others told on him._

"Running into Kate Owens I was at bowling." Mama explained. She told the monsters that she had to spend over half of the bowling session talking Kate down, as Kate was panicking. "Asking her I was what was wrong being, and mentioning she is her husband was died from jumping off a building. Telling me long story about how architect of building was not make with putting nets to catch him, and complaining she was about how architect kept trying to make with getting out of conversation." she mentioned.

The other monsters were shocked by what had happened to poor Kate. Seven looked like he was going to cry. One and Six gasped. Three and Two had to sit down, while Five was too busy eating bananas to care.

"Telling her I was maybe she was a wrong number having." Mama finished, "But only then was I realizing she was actually speaking with my Fourski, not architect of building."

Four sat there, his eyes widening with each word Mom had said. The others couldn't believe what he did.

"That wasn't very nice of you, Four" said Two.

"But I had the wrong number!" Four retorted in protest.

"Four, when that happens, you say 'I'm sorry for your loss, but you have the wrong number', hang up, and walk away." One said, "It's literally so simple."

By now, Four was doing whatever he could to avoid digging himself deeper. "You don't understand…" he said, waving his hands, "She kept interrupting me!"

"I get that" she replied, "But that doesn't make it OK to insult the poor woman."

Four was guilty. He was grasping at straws to think of a better excuse, but nothing materialized. He was screwed and he _knew_ it. His utter lack of diplomacy bit him in the ass in a very embarrassing way. "What you are saying to Kate was not at all nice being!" Mama said angrily, "Sorrying up to Kate you should be, my Four."

But Four did not apologize. Instead, he explained to Kate that he was _not_ the architect. Kate had the wrong phone number this whole time. It was, to say the least, an _interesting_ conversation.

Four dialled. The call went through, and Kate Owens picked up. "Hello," Kate said, answering the phone, "who is this?"

"This is Four." Four replied.

Kate paused in confusion. "Hang on, Four?" she inquired, slightly befuddled.

Four was slightly annoyed. This "apology call" (if you could even call it that) was taking too long. He knew that he couldn't just hang up and be done with it. His mother and siblings were watching him. "Yes, this is Four" he said slightly annoyed.

Now Kate was really puzzled. "Slow down," she said, "Your name is Four?" She didn't quite understand that Four's name was a number at first.

Four sighed, slightly annoyed. "Yes, it is." he said.

Suddenly, Kate got the picture. The man with whom she had originally spoken with wasn't who she thought. "I thought you were Andy Kessler!" she said.

"Who?" Four asked.

"You know...the architect!"

Four got excited. _Finally_ , they were getting somewhere. "I'm _not_! That's what I've been trying to tell you!"

Within half a second, Kate went from confused to shocked. "You're not the architect?" she said.

"No" Four replied, "I'm not the architect."

Kate's shock quickly transformed into offence. "What do you _mean_ you're not the architect?!" she barked. She _demanded_ to know what was going on. Was this a sick prank? Did the firm for whom the architect work give out a fake phone number for that particular individual?

Four grew flustered. All of a sudden, what he wanted to say when Kate first called spilled out. _"You had the wrong number the whole time!_ Didn't you think to check to see if you were even calling the right person?!"

Before he knew it, the line went dead. Kate had hung up on him out of sheer, unbridled anger.


End file.
